We’ve all had dealings with a cheap person. Maybe it’s the friend who borrows money from you and won’t return it or the coworker who “forgets” to contribute to group gifts but still signs the card.
There is quite a difference between frugal and cheap. While frugal is considered a smart and reasonable way to manage finances, being a “cheapskate,” on the other hand, is a reluctance and unwillingness to pay for things and prioritize money above all else. It’s past the fine line of social grace and good manners! It’s okay to be budget-conscious, but don’t go overboard.
While penny-pinching ways might seem harmless initially, these behaviors can quickly sour relationships and leave others feeling undervalued. Here are 12 things you might be doing that come off as cheap and require some introspection.
Splitting the Bill on the First Date
Too old-fashioned for modern thinking? Well, if you are not getting your calls returned, this could be the reason why.
Jonathan Wells of the Gentleman’s Journal says that as a matter of etiquette, men should pay for the first date, even if she asks to split it: “If you do take her up on her offer to split the bill — especially at her first request — she will either think you’re unchivalrous or uninterested.”
Of course, according to Wells, when it comes to spitting the bill with friends or once you become established as a couple, you’re golden.
Depriving Others While You Amass Money
If you are so focused on saving your own money, you might never want to give to others. This sort of behavior is considered “selfishly cheap,” according to Alice Garbarini Hurley at SoFi, a financial services company.
It can be difficult to give away money at times, but a donation to a worthy cause can go a long way.
Faking Forgetfulness to Avoid Paying
Did you forget your wallet or purse when you were at the restaurant? Oh, how awkward! I once walked out of a cafe and totally forgot to pay for the coffee, but that’s a different story.
If you are with friends and you want them to cover the bill for you because you don’t have the money, be sure to pay them back. As it turns out, over 20% of Americans end friendships over money disputes, according to a survey by fintech firm Bread Financial. So, don’t let the money loan cause friction in your relationship!
Not Paying For a Round of Drinks
Here in Ireland, we sometimes buy “rounds” of drinks. This means that every person in the group takes their turn to order the drinks for the group.
If you are the kind of person who avoids paying for any round of drinks and continues to accept drinks throughout the evening without any return, it’s considered pretty disrespectful. And no, people are not too drunk to notice this behavior!
Giving Thoughtless Gifts
For special occasions, do you put any effort into gift-giving? Maybe you decide to regift an item you don’t want. Or have an impersonal or basic gift that required no real thought behind it. It all comes down to the person you are gifting and your relationship.
You don’t need to go overboard with gift-giving. Helen Rosner, a New Yorker staff writer who publishes an annual food-themed gift guide, tells Vox, “It can be a Tootsie Pop or a $10,000 diamond-encrusted cocktail shaker. What’s important is matching the right thing to the right person.”
Take, Take, Take
I am hesitant to share something so personal, but let’s do it anyway. Living on a farm in the countryside gives us access to a wide range of tools that others don’t have. I am all for people popping up to borrow a trailer or power washer. It’s sure great you can avail of it for free, and there’s nothing wrong with it!
However, the problem is when they give nothing back… ever. For instance, they use up all the gas and don’t fill the tank up again, or they keep borrowing without returning any kind of favor.
Over time, it can feel like being taken advantage of. I’m sure you have felt instances similar to this before in your life!
Ordering the Most Expensive Meals and Splitting the Bill
Here’s a clever way for people to cheap out on restaurant meals. Ever go to a restaurant after work, and there is someone who orders a much larger or more expensive meal than everyone else and then expects to split the bill?
“If someone at a table is overspending everyone else, they should be presented with the bill,” Colin Smith, chef and co-owner of Smith and River restaurant in Reno, Nevada, tells Today. “Whomever orders the wine, buys the wine.”
Avoiding Tipping Your Fair Share
Tipping can get pretty expensive, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. For those who really rely on tips as a source of their income, etiquette experts at CNBC recommend a standard 20% tip.
If there is already a 20% service charge on top of your bill, find out if it goes to the staff. If it does go to the servers and bussers, you don’t need to tip again.
Asking Guests to Pay After Hosting Them
I once visited a friend that was at least a five-hour journey across the countryside — two different buses and one car ride. At the end of the weekend, they asked me to split the price of the groceries and the alcohol they used to make cocktails for everyone. Is this cheap behavior?
“I get that cooking a whole dinner for a bunch of people can be expensive,” Amy McCarthy, a reporter at Eater, says. “But! If you do choose to throw a party, be a gracious host. It’s unacceptable to invite someone into your home, under the auspices of hospitality, then charge them for said hospitality.”
Not Taking Care of Your Appearance
If you are not looking after yourself or your appearance, you could be doing yourself a disservice. Purchasing low-quality clothing is quick to show signs of wear and tear, which can make us look cheap.
Instead, purchasing a smaller selection of clothing or a capsule wardrobe is better for the environment and can potentially save money in the long run.
Taking as Much as You Can From Hotels
Sometimes, the luxury of hotels can go to people’s heads. It’s fine to grab a free shampoo or disposable toothbrush. However, towels, bathrobes, pillows, artwork, and other fine items that are clearly part of the hotel are a no-go. The same applies to coat hangers and batteries in TV remotes, which are said to frequently go missing in hotels.
Here are the items that you can take from hotels guilt-free.
Being Nosy about Other People’s Expenses
Dwelling on what other people buy and spend, or gossiping and criticizing other people’s expensive purchases? According to Hurley, this behavior could potentially indicate that you are cheap. Perhaps the buyer is a frugal person.
“Frugal does not mean cheap, and judging others’ spending can say more about your own financial habits than theirs,” she says.
